Why do people intentionally mispronounce names like Kamala Harris’?

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As former President Donald Trump focuses on his new challenger, Vice President Kamala Harris, he continues to deliberately mispronounce and make fun of her name. At his first rally since announcing his bid for the presidency, Trump repeatedly referred to Vice President Harris by name. And all the time, he mispronounced “Kamala.”

Vice President Harris’ first name is part of his Indian heritage. It means “lotus flower,” and is pronounced “Comma-la.” Trump continues to pronounce his name, “Kah-MAH-la.” In his speech, Trump said he “doesn’t care” if he mispronounces Harris’ name. In the past, Trump has accused Vice President Harris of not being able to pronounce his name correctly. And apparently, he has a history of badmouthing white people, Democrats and Republicans.

The mispronunciation of Harris’s name repeatedly on the national stage is the disrespect many of us privately endure in our workplaces. For most of my career, I have been plagued by my name being mispronounced and misspelled. Even at work I have been nicknamed without my permission.

I have compassion and understanding for colleagues who try to pronounce my name correctly, especially when we meet for the first time. And unfortunately, as Vice President Harris, I have been teased, laughed at, and asked about my name. Over the years, I’ve heard things like, “What’s your name? Mai-Tai? Do you like a sweet drink? I want a Mai-Tai!” Or, “Why are you pronouncing your name wrong? It should be pronounced Mee-tha, not Me-ta. No wonder people don’t get your name right.”

One of my co-workers once even said to me, “Your parents should have given you an American name like Mary or something.”

And despite my record of success and many accolades and accomplishments, the targeting of my name has made me feel unwelcome and inadequate—and at times, that I just don’t belong in that group. Unfortunately, I believe this can be an obvious goal of those who deliberately mispronounce others’ names.

Correct pronunciation is one of the first and most basic ways people feel welcome in our organizations. Here are three things to focus on when it comes to pronouncing words correctly:

Start by remembering the importance of words

There have been many times in my career when I have seen colleagues say the following when dealing with “difficult words”:

• “Do you have a nickname? Can I call you something else?”
• “How can we shorten together?”
• “Yes, I will take this seriously.”
• “Oh my god! Is it just me or is it really hard to tell?”
• “Ah, I said the wrong thing again. It’s my fault. I know, I can’t make a bigger deal out of it than it is.”

If you have a name that is considered common where you live, and is easy to pronounce for many in the United States, you probably never have to worry about your name being mispronounced. Some may say that you have the right to have a name that everyone can easily recognize and understand. As a result you may be asking yourself, “What’s the big deal about getting the words right? Why are people so sensitive?”

My name is part of who I am. My name was given to me by my parents, who had big hopes and dreams for me. When my colleagues pronounce my name correctly, I feel recognized and respected in my team and in my organization. In fact, research shows that when we hear the sound of our own words, we are happier. Our brains light up with happiness.

And according to the UK organization Race Equality Matters, 73% of people have been mispronounced. Of those whose names were wrongly praised, 43% said it made them feel disrespected, 30% found it offensive, and 21% said it “made them feel unimportant.”

Employees who feel like they don’t belong can find this affects their overall well-being and are more likely to quit. Treating people with respect and care starts with correcting their names.

Don’t ask how someone pronounces their name, learn to pronounce it correctly

Over the years, I have been asked how I choose to pronounce my first name. Some have told me that the way I pronounce my name is not the correct pronunciation. So they argue that I shouldn’t care how people pronounce my name in the first place, when I’m clearly mispronouncing my name.

If we want to respect names, we should not question how someone asks us to say their name. We respect them and follow the way they would like us to say their name. We listen carefully. We take time to practice. We ask for help from others when we seem to be misunderstanding, and we ask to respond with the correct pronunciation.

A few years ago, it was really difficult to pronounce the name of a co-worker correctly. We worked closely together. I couldn’t understand why the pronunciation didn’t come easily. And I didn’t stop practicing until I got it right. I wrote it down phonetically, listened to him pronounce it on his LinkedIn profile, and had a Post-it reminder in my notebook of how to pronounce it. I finally managed to pronounce his name correctly and got some of my colleagues to do the same. I remember his eyes welling up with tears, as he said that in the past, some of the band members ended up giving him a nickname, and it meant more than he could express that we cared enough about him to learn to pronounce his name.

Log in if you see someone’s name being mispronounced on purpose

When someone’s name is intentionally mispronounced in our workplaces, it is a minor attack. If it happens repeatedly, it could be workplace bullying, which could turn into harassment. As a mispronounced person whose name is nicknamed at work, I get tired of always talking and talking about myself. Some days, it’s just easier to sit through a meeting or deal with someone who mispronounces my name than it is to have the energy to correct it over and over again.

And this is where the partners come in. When we see (or hear) something, we have to say something.

Here are some ways to intervene then, or pull yourself aside afterwards and talk one-on-one with the person who caused the damage:

• “You see that you keep mispronouncing Mita’s name, don’t you? Why is that?”
• “That’s not how Mita pronounces her name. I’m happy to help you learn to pronounce it correctly.”
• “I saw you laughing when you mispronounced his name. How would you feel if someone mispronounced your name and made no effort to learn to pronounce it?”

If you see it happening repeatedly, contact the person concerned. If the offender does not want to apologize, has no interest in learning how to pronounce his colleague’s name correctly, it may be time to ask for help from Human Resources. Because their repeated, destructive behavior must have consequences.

Let’s remember that the parents of Vice President Kamala Harris had big hopes and dreams for her. His name is part of who he is. Now he is on track to become the next President of the United States. Whether you agree with his policies or his record, he at least deserves the basic respect we all do. Learn to pronounce his name correctly.

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